This is the first and currently only installment of a project inspired by my comprehensive body of creative work from age two to five--by far the most prolific years of my life. Primarily consisting of crayolas on paper, these masterpieces boldly address some of the paramount social issues of our time, from three-legged unicorns to the exploitation of demented dog-men in the custodial services.

Hundreds of these drawings have been preserved in a moldy cardboard box in my mother's closet. I'm now embarking on the task of translating them into large paintings, since my shriveled old brain (like the discarded rind of a juiced orange) is no longer capable of the genius my 2-year-old self was.